stress
uhhhh… hfffffffff…….. ternyata detik2 pergantian tahun membuat aq stress… bingung… takut…
semesteran sudah di depan mata. tinggal hitungan hari. 1, 2, 3, 4, dan 5……. huhhh… hiks3…. belom belajar, sebenernya susah konsentrasi untuk belajar. lihat setumpuk kertas yang harus diapal langsung mual, nausea… muntah….. 
sebenerny pengen refreshing dulu.. tp apa daya tangan tak sampai… ngarung lewat, ke pantai juga lewat… uhh… sdh smsteran diklat lapangan… uh….. ketika tidur adalah hal yang langka. sebenerny idak jg. tp jarang bakal nyenyak. tidur beralaskan tanah atau batu. hm… berselimut langit malam penuh bintang (my hope) and also full month.. hmm… apolg ado pelangi… 
sekalian kesano untuk mengejar hujan, maen hujan, basah-basahan, mandi di sungai… hm…
12 februari 2009. ado apo sih dengan tanggal ini?? bingung…. hmm… just wait it…
3 jam lagi menuju 2009. sebenerny sih diajak keluar sm kawan. tapi males ah… kawan dio galo, mada’i aq nyelip dewekan.. dak seru….mending d kamar be… bersama para teman tidur ku… huahuahua….
kangen sm ibu… sm adek… love u all… 
Flash Back and New Wishes
it’s my tradition for receiving new year…
flash back and new wishes…
at the first, i want to flash back about 2008…
in that year so many sacrifice, fight, patient, etc… i think that year is not bad. but in 2007 is better… uh… so many tears in that year. so many choices…
about my wishes in 2008… (my 20 wishes)
the first wish… alhamdulillah, i got it…. not easy, but if we have fight to get it, nothing is impossible…. the second… it’s my changing.. but i got it…
the third.. i don’t know exactly, but may be i got it… just a half may be…
and the fourth i got it… but just a quarter.. i hope i can get it anymore in 2009, and it will be better… amin… because i so need it…
the fifth… of course… i got it… thank tou Allah…
the sixth… may be i got it…
the seventh… hfff… i got it too… but it’s not really perfect. pangrango, i got the top… a beach, i got it in lampung even though when i came back home, i got a worse news… and i so sad… and then rafting (hmm… insya Allah today i am going to go to bedegung, i want to rafting.. )
the eighth until twentieth, i think i can achieve them a half… but the conclusion is i can reach my wishes more than a half.. bingo… so thanks for ALLAh… i can pass this year well…
my wishes in 2009…
1. always… same like 2008
2. the point is i want to be better than 2008…no cry anymore…
3. like my fourth wish in 2008, but i want it is better for Allah…
4. go to east (bali and lombok)
5. top of mt. kerinci, mt. tujuh, and seminung…
6. umroh… :p
7. increase my goodness
8. always add friends + my best friends
9. watch the movie of the eye of the dolphin
10. i can play guitar, drive a motorcycle, and also car…
11. making my parents proud of me
12. meet a rainbow…
13. (secret……)
14. forget my unimportant memories (because they can be inhibitor to make me walk to future)
15.be …. :p (secret)
16. get scholarship
i hope my wishes com true in 2009… amin…
happy new tear……
La Tahzan
Orang sering keterlaluan, tidak logis, dan hanya mementingkan diri sendiri;
Bagaimanapun, maafkanlah.
Bila engkau baik hati, bisa saja orang lain menuduhmu punya pamrih;
Bagaimnapun, berbaik hatilah.
Bila engkau sukses, engkau akan mendapat beberapa teman palsu dan beberapa sahabat sejati;
Bagaimanapun, jadilah sukses.
Bila engkau jujur dan terbuka, mungkin saja orang lain akan menipumu;
Bagaimanapun, jujur dan terbukalah.
Apa yang engkau bangun selama bertahun-tahun mungkin saja dihancurkan orang lain hanya dalam semalam;
Bagaimanapun, bangunlah.
Bila engkau mendapat ketenangan dan kebahagian, mungkin saja orang lain jadi iri;
Bagaimanapun, bebahagialah.
Kebaikan yang engkau lakukan hari ini, mungkin saja besok sudah dilupakan orang; bagaimanapun, berbuat baiklah.
Bagaimanapun, berikanlah yang terbaik darimu.
Engkau lihat, akhirnya ini adalah urusan antara engkau dengan Tuhanmu, bagaimanapun ini bukan urusan antara engkau dengan mereka.
sincere is not easy
actually, sincere is not easy… it’s so difficult to do…. even though i have tried… anyway… what is sincere????? like what???
being a strong girl is not easy either… i’m just a weak girl…
i miss my mother… i miss my grand father… i miss …………..
now i am trying to be sincere… lost things… just let them lose… and never hope them come back.. because history never come back, just future will come…
and i ‘m just a human… i’m not perfect… i do many faults, many mistakes, and many sins… so don’t ask for me to be a perfect person….
i want to a place for me hiding too… a place that make i be comfort, a placidity place… hmm… where is that???????
i hope i can be sincere…
Amin….
Uncategorized | Comment (0)I Just Wanna Be A Kid
a kid????? yes, of course….
but, can i????
it’s impossible. because we can go back to last…
hmm…. if i can be a kid…. i will not have many problems for solving. when i fall, i can stand directly…. when i cry, i can forget my problem directly….
i will not have anything to make me stress, or make me depress…. no requirement to do every thing… just do what i want to…. and just know about having fun… laugh… and smile….
no regulation if i wanna do something.. if i wanna sit, i have to do like that… if i wanna it, i have to do like that… if i wanna walk, i have to do like that… if i wanna speak up, i have to do like that… and everything… so many regulations whose adult…
actually, be adult is not good choice… but when i was child why do i want to be adult? even though now i’m not a girl, not yet a woman… being adult is so hard… so difficult… when trouble comes, it must be solved… and when it has to solved, will come another trouble… uhhhhh……….
but it’s life… we always change… to avoid those changes is a loss. do not waste to avoid a minute of it avoiding things. let them come to you, and learn from them…
many troubles can be solved…. if we always be a kid, we can’t know how great the world is… but…. sometimes, be a kid anymore is a good hope…
hmmm… just do everything what make you happier….
just accept yourself, because you only live your life once….
Trying to look closer
there are two of my friends called me some days before. they shared with me about their problems. actually, my fiends rarely share their problem with me. but i don’t know, unexpectedly they called me.
the first friend, he has a problem with a girl. but i think that it is not a big problem. i think he just misunderstand. but believe that it ’s just time problem to forget your problem. i just can cheer up you… keep fighting yow…
my second friend, i think his problem is so big. so complicated and so hard to solve that. i have heard the chronology. waw… i don;t believe that is like on tV. i know your feeling. i know you won’t do like that. i believe you. i will always beside you if you need me. just call me, and i will hear. sorry, if i can’t help to solve that. i have explained why. it’s so impossible. my opinion, if you really just a victim, believe it, you will not chose the final choice, the worst choice. key…. ganbate….
keep fighting!!!! i will here with you, even though your sky begins to fall, i’ll stay with you until you smile. when you feel sad or empty inside, i’ll show you that you are not alone. anf when nothing seems to be going right and you need a friend… i’ll stay only for you. because you are my friends of mine…
and try to look your problem closer, and you’ll more understand.
i just wanna say
i just wanna say i am disappointed… uh… when i have done my assignment, my part, the part of my friends, they didn’t make it… perhaps i have a problem with nutrition subject… all of that… and also all of my doing is useless… so tired… ;-(
i’m disappointed with my friends… arghhhhhhhhh…. i don’t know what i must do for all of you… just hope our assignments will finish on time… ;-(
i just wanna say that i’m confused… i have tried to think all of that. but they stuck… can’t solve yet… can you explain what i must do? i don’t always want to stay in this condition. stop to make me confused. stop to disturb me. i wanna stop to hope… ;-(
i just wanna say that i want to be alone first now… live me alone…
i wanna cry……. hiks3… i’m so tired… i’m disappointed… i’m sad… i wanna angry, but whom???
;-(
;-(
;-(
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